2002

To live as a sacral being is like dancing. But there is no pattern. There are no steps. I do not know ahead of time how, where, when, why or even if, I will ever do anything!

It is only after my response that I know.

And my dance is like no one else’s on the whole planet. Your dance is like no one else’s too. That is why I no longer look at anyone else to see ‘how they do it” nor do I compare myself to anyone anymore. How can I?? I am me.

I am not like anyone else. I cannot be like anyone else. Neither can you. No one can. But we all try to imitate others. We try to look this way or that, act this way or that, move this way or that. The list is endless.

Ahhh – the beauty of no longer doing this. It is so freeing and so delicious. To relax into being me – that is what has happened from all these years of waiting and responding. No explosion of lights – no drum rolls – no specialness – nothing like that at all. No, the real gift – the most precious gift - is relaxation. A relaxation like I have never dreamed possible. A relaxation into life as it is!

Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t freak out here and there – the ‘oh my god’s’... it doesn’t mean that I don’t get upset or disturbed.

I used to think that if I really surrendered – that I would never be upset or disturbed again. In the past, I thought that there would always be a calm, a peace. Now, those ideas make me laugh. It almost sounds like death to me. That isn’t life. But in spite of whatever is going on in my life – there is a relaxation into “what is”. Whatever is there – I am relaxed in it.

No longer are there wishes that this would change or that would be different. You know... all those “if only’s”! There is much joy in living life as it is. I feel so young and alive... my cells often feel like they are quivering with excitement.

The future is unknown. I know that and I am no longer afraid of that. I trust my response totally. I know that whatever comes in the future – whatever is there – my sacral will respond to it and it will be correct.

To have this kind of trust in my own being is truly something – especially in these times where there is so little to trust on the outside. Trust never belonged on the outside. It never belonged with leaders, teachers or gurus. But for myself, I know I had no choice back then. Until I found this inside of me, I had to put my trust in others.

It is not that I don’t trust others, because I do. But not over my own sacral sound – no matter who they are or how much I value them. This is quite an incredible space to live in. I am so grateful for Human Design for this. And it all came about by simply following the simple. Wait – don’t initiate. Listen for my sacral response. Let those sounds guide me and make the decisions in my life. And have the courage to honor those sounds no matter where they take me.

It is not that I don’t trust others, because I do. But not over my own sacral sound – no matter who they are or how much I value them.

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(sespecially episodes 3 and 6 of the season)