Surprising responses - ‘do you want a cigarette?’
2002
Beware Sacral beings! You think you know yourself. You think you really know what you need, want, desire, love, hate, think, care about... ahh. What a surprise you have in store.
What an incredible gift is waiting for you. There is nothing more precious than discovering your real essence.
These past 5+ years have been so exciting for me. When I sat down next to Ra for my reading in May of 1997, I actually thought I knew who I was. I thought I knew all those things about me that most everyone else thinks they know.
But now, oh my god, what a difference. It is like night and day. My voice on the cassette tape sounds so funny to me now. I had no clue who I was. I really thought I was living me. But I was simply living the conditioned life that a Generator lives.
“But now, oh my god, what a difference. It is like night and day. I really thought I was living me. But I was simply living the conditioned life that a Generator lives.”
These past years of discovering who I am have been so thrilling. Discovering me underneath all the layers and layers of ideas and beliefs has been really something. Now looking back, I can say with the authority of having lived this experiment, I HAD NO CLUE WHO I WAS! I had no idea what I really felt about anything.
About three years ago, a girlfriend who smokes started to light up a cigarette and looked at me and said “do you want one”. Well, let me tell you – my “ahunh” (yes) shocked the hell out of me. I don’t smoke! I have never smoked! But there I was, in that moment, smoking a cigarette. And I truly enjoyed it. Over the past years, once in a while someone will ask me if I want a cigarette and most of the time I go “unun” (no), but sometimes I respond yes!!
I have no preconceived ideas about myself anymore. Because I know that I never know what my response will be to anything! That is very uncomfortable in the beginning. It made me very uneasy. At times I was afraid to be asked intimate questions, because I had no idea what sounds would come out of me.
Like my husband asking me “do you still love me?” Now that is scary! But it is also very incredible. If my truth is ‘ahunh’ (yes), then that shows me that it is right for us to be together. If my sacral goes “unun” (no) – then isn’t it better to know it? No, it is not easy to deal with a truth like that but if it were true – why would anyone want to believe otherwise?
“I have no preconceived ideas about myself anymore. Because I know that I never know what my response will be to anything.”
When Ra told me way back that I had no idea who I was, and that I wouldn’t even know even if I loved someone unless I was asked and I responded, I couldn’t believe it. I started experimenting right away. I saw immediately that my sacral responds to things in a way that drives my mind nuts.
Over these years, I must have been asked thousands and thousands of questions from the mundane to the kinds of questions that went straight to the depth of my soul. My mind would never have been able to answer those questions in a way that would reveal me to myself. The mind can only give what it has taken in as conditioning, ideas, and beliefs. But I want what my mind cannot know! I want my sacral responses more than anything. There is nothing more incredible than this. It is the opportunity to watch your own birth.
Everything I know about myself is from something I have responded to. But I cannot say that my response will remain and stay the same. Nothing – absolutely nothing – is written in stone. Each response guides me in that moment in my life. But will that same response be there in the future? I have no idea.
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related products:
For every (Manifesting) Generator who wants to live their design. Mary Ann shares her personal experience of radically stepping into the Human Design experiment.
Most of all, this book speaks to your body. It’s not built on mental concepts but on raw experience. Some of the experiential wisdom that Mary Ann offers:
How does responding look like on a day-to-day basis?
How does a (M) Generator (or Projector) wait when it makes your mind go bananas?
How does living with an undefined Solar Plexus, Heart, and Ajna + Head look on a day-to-day basis?
How Mary Ann learns to trust her gut and the ‘weird’ decisions it makes: renting an office without having a business, saying no to many parties and outings after having been the ‘social bee’ all her life, saying yes to projects that scare her mind to death..
Turning from the “I’m always nice” woman to the woman who puts her own truth first.
What it means to have a fully ‘sacral-led’ business
“This is the story of the first 10 years of my experiment. Although it is primarily the story of a Generator, it is really a story of deconditioning. And how difficult it is to wait. The shattering, fears and pain are part of the process that all types encounter when they begin their personal experiment.
It is also a story of wonder and delight as I began to uncover and discover my true nature.
This book is for people who have been touched in some way by this incredible knowledge. In ancient times, individuals of the tribe would pass on their experiences by telling stories around the fire. It was verbal. Although this is a book, I am not an author. I am simply a tribal storyteller.
As you read, please remember, this is simply my story of what I passed through in the experiment of living my strategy and honoring my inner authority. It is not “the” story. We are each unique and have our own unfolding process to live. And we each have a story to tell. This is mine.” - Mary Ann Winiger
this is an ebook, not a physical copy
12 short audio episodes, 2 hours and 14 minutes (total)
What does it look and feel like to radically embrace your strategy and authority in Human Design? And how will it affect your relationships?
In this season, Mary Ann is in the 8th year of her experiment. She shares beautiful daily examples of how honoring her inner truth has impacted her friendships, her marriage, and her interactions with strangers.
My favorite part: we get more insight into how Mary Ann got to shed a lifelong of people-pleasing.
Other topics she touches upon are (taming) the mind, finding inner peace, how the aura attracts people, children & Human Design, and deconditioning your responses.
Contents:
12 audio episodes between 11 and 16 minutes
a 13-page pdf with a mini summary of each episode & quotes
see below for a full list of the episodes - most of them are suited for all Types
